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10 Best Funny Quotes

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Best Funny Quotes

10 Best Funny Quotes

  • “I really think I’d be better at, like, advanced napping techniques.”
    Tui T. Sutherland
  • “Well, I’m already hoping there could be a dinner where you don’t try to stab me with your fork,” he said.
    “You might need to make your peace with disappointment.”
    Rosamund Hodge
  • “The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.”
    Lex Martin
  • “Oz lists the hem of his shirt, exposing his cut abs, and wipes his brow with the material. Oh my with chocolate on top. That was just beautiful.”
    Katie McGarry
  • “Is this a trial of thoughts, or of kittens?’ demanded the Woggle-Bug.
    ‘It’s a trial of one kitten,’ replied the Scarecrow; ‘but your manner is a trial to us all.”
    L. Frank Baum
  • “You call me a princess and sometimes we put on as much gold as we can, and you call me “Jay-Z,” and then laugh so hard.”
    Matthew Quick
  • “Werewolves and silver bullets!” Shakespeare coughed a quick laugh and shook his head. “Lord, what fools these mortals be!”
    Michael Scott
  • “And they certainly wouldn’t take you along to a murder. That would be irresponsible parenting.”
    Kelley Armstrong
  • “Do you know what you need?” Malcolm was saying now.
    To get laid, I thought.
    “To get laid,” Malcolm said.
    Shocker.”
    Diana Peterfreund
  • “If he was able to make her feel even the slightest bit of guilt for being so oblivious—if he could get through all that makeup and high fashion.”
    Matthew Quick
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